Pickle Vanilla Monthly – 4/25/22 – 5:30 AM EST

Considering the results of the Government’s full-scale attack a few days ago, no one could have imagined that the Axis of Evil would be able to somehow muster up a counterattack against the Government’s home soil. Yet, somehow, against all odds, that is exactly what happened early this morning.

Just as they’d done in the past, a massive raid base was built in the blink of an eye. They call it their FOB. Since their previous FOB had been destroyed, this one was even larger, complete with a SAM site on top.

MM and FG showed that they had formidable numbers of their own, bringing dozens of soldiers to the raid.

Staying true to their credo of GGs, respect, and online raids, they began their all-out assault despite knowing that at least 2 of the 200 active Government members were online.

Unfortunately for the Axis of Evil, Mr. President was one of them! Even a sniper shot to the head was not enough to stop him as he boarded a private jet and deposited all of his valuables into an international banking account.

Mr. President then returned to defend the Government with his brave allies! His power was so vast that he held off their entire army for what seemed like an eternity. Firing thousands of rounds into the tidal wave of death, Mr. President eventually ran out of ammo, and his base was cored.

MM and FG began to rage in global chat as they discovered neither boom nor profit in his base, accusing Mr. President of despawning his treasury as they angrily despawned whatever primitive items remained in the base.

Scarrab arrived on the scene to inspect and repair the damage, and to collect fingerprints. The Ministry of Intelligence was able to positively identify every last one of the criminals. MM claimed that they’d all changed their names before the raid “because it’s fun”, and definitely not because they were trying to hide their identities.

Despite only raiding 5% of the Government’s bases, MM declared total victory and proclaimed that the wipe was over for the Government. When questioned by Agent Scarrab, they announced that the raid base was to become their new main base.

MM’s lowest ranking member, who will be referred to as “Dumbdogg” to protect his privacy, was shaking with joy as he once again took up his assigned position of roofcamping with an L96 Rifle in the newly established base. His job: roofcamp the Government for 16 hours a day, until the end of wipe.

But Dumbdogg’s vision was blurred with tears of joy, and he didn’t notice one of the Community Bases being repaired and resealed until it was too late.

With Mr. President safely resting an undisclosed location, the terrified citizens of Pickle cried out for Scarrab to immediately defeat all the members of MM and FG. While this was well within his capability, he seemed to have something else in mind as he retreated to a nearby radio broadcast tower.

As the sun rose on a new day, Scarrab announced over open channels that there was only one result of the raid: an exponential increase in power for the Government.

Categories: Raids